Apex Mini Triathlon...

Back when I was in Utah a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to do a triathlon when I got back. It was a mini, so the distances were cut slightly from the sprints that I had done. I thought it would be a good idea, considering I was "getting" in shape and feeling good about it. In fact I was feeling so good about it that I had estimated my time to be under an hour with 1:10 being my mid point and 1:20 being my slowest. I figured I would swim around 9, bike around 30-35 and run a 17 min. I was sorely mistaken on my times.

Since the tri was a few counties over. We decided to camp and wake up and head over there instead of wake up at 4 and drive there. That was probably the only good decision I made that day. Beth and I woke up, grabbed our gear and headed over to the rec center. We checked in and got ready and our nerves, well mine took over from there. We kept hearing people say the water was cold and some people were coming up from the pool shivering from their practice swim, then we started seeing men in wet suits and I knew from there I was going to have a problem. We walked down stood in line and watched person and person jump in that water and come up gasping for air.

Here is where my first problem comes into play. I had signed up for a 7 min swim time when I clearly knew I could only do it in 9. Beth on the other hand is freakishly fast, I did a 7 so I could stay with her. It wasn't that people were passing me, in fact people only passed me (beth included) at the very beginning and only 4 or so people passed me. My last 5 lanes the next person behind me was 4 lanes over and yes I had time to look. It's not that I signed up for a 7, its that I knew I couldn't do a 7, I over estimated myself which leads to disappointment. Anyhow back to the start. So we are standing there in line and it's my turn. I jump in the water and gasp while I am still under the water. Literally breath taking and I wanted to stop right then and there. My time is approaching and I take off. Breathing every two stroked until I just couldn't take it any longer and I flipped to my back. Yea I know back stroke for a tri, it gets worse. The water is so cold and I'm exercising of course, so I really can't catch my breath.

3 lanes in and I have just about had it, I'm thinking to myself that this was a bad decision and that I don't want to do tri's anymore. I keep thinking to just "push it", my motto. "Push it, push it push it. I am dying, pretty sure I am going to freeze to death. Pretty sure this would be a terrible way to die, drowning and drowning in freezing water. You know, this water is comparable to Fremont Lake, which I have refused to get in for the last 5 years until this year, only because I was wearing a wet suit. I really almost froze to death last time I got in that water. Swimming, keep swimming. I am no quitter but honestly I am considering it. Really just stop swimming and get out, go get warm and call it good. Look you only have 6 lanes to go. 6? that's not even half way, swim swim swim, that water is really cold, gasping for breath, just breath, breathe, no more back stroke just fluttering along and before I know it. I am done..." My thought process, interesting right?

I hop out of the pool and look at my watch, 11 minutes, what a terrible swim time. My disappointment starts snowballing faster and faster. Of course Beth is long gone, sad I will be biking alone, maybe I can catch up. I'm cold, I'm shaking and I am soaking. I get my gear, helmet on and I can hear my kids. Sage runs over and yells "mom" in excitement, family, something positive. I grab my bike and yell to Nate that was the worst thing I have ever done. I get on and go!

The bike ride started out downhill which was great considering I am still gasping for air, panting out loud. Wonderful. Make my first turn and another huge downhill straight to an incline at the bottom. I instantly remember that I am riding this same road on the way back, which means all those wonderful down hills are up hill later. Awesome. The bike route becomes my second disappointment. Up and down and up and down. Hard pushing, lots of shifting from my highest to my lowest, quite frequently. I hit the turn around point- halfway and realized that I hadn't passed Beth going to other direction, nor I had I caught up to her. Is she really that fast?

Back up and down, my watch reads 40 mins at 8 miles. I should be running by now! Disappointment. Finally back up those two long steep hills I was so happy to soar down at the beginning. Push it, push it. I can see transition. I enter and Travis looks at me bewildered. I hang my bike, Beth's bike is not there... impossible. Nate expresses concern that she hasn't come back after I tell him I never saw her.

I start the run at 55. way way too late, its a trail. unhappy that its not paved. I am tired, still panting out loud and my legs are weak. I slowly start to run and I just can't. I can't breathe and my legs are literally going to give out, not to mention my feet are slushing around in my shoes because my socks are soaked. I walk fast, run, walk fast, run walk fast. This is where I started contemplating if I should just walk to rest. I'm already disappointed, unhappy to say the least, that I have sucked so far. My times are way off and I am just tired. I start to get angry. I run everyday and I can't run this. I should be in shape for this and I cant even run it. Finally a mile in I feel better so I run. I knew I started running too late to make my time. 1:10 passes and I am really angry. Battling myself in my head. angry, annoyed, disappointed, mad, and sad. Just a few emotions that we women feel. I see the finish line, I come up the hill there are my kids and Nate. I push it and I am done!

I knew from the moment that I finished that my time was terrible. Maybe it was the fact the the clock said 1:28:10 when I crossed. Subtract 10 mins off for my start time leaving me with a 1:18. I didn't look at my watch... I was angry. I ask about Beth, who I once again didn't see on the run. Travis is looking and I head to my bike for my water. I see an ambulance and ask if there was a hurt biker, there response in short, after a longer conversation was no. Her bike is finally there. I head back to the finish and start walking down the path. I see her and run the last bit where she explains and I try to motivate her to keep running along.

Both of us walked away disappointed, have I said that word enough in this post? But really how else can you explain something that you had high hopes for. Beth blogged her experience here. Both our times were terrible, both our hearts were broken! My final time 1:18:09. 16 minutes behind my age groups first place. My swim time- 11:23 (sucky), Bike 40:26 (Sucky too) and my run 23:00 (my biggest suck). 5th out of 6th in my age group, 111 out of 145 total. This was a tri that I should have been by far under 50th place over all, I should have had a under 1:10 time and I am so disappointed with myself for so many reasons. But, that being said, I e.n.j.o.y.e.d it, I think. I mean I am glad I did it, I wish I had done better, pushed myself harder. Why am I not this hard core exercise enthusiast that I want to be? I can do all this but I just take longer than I want. Oh and by the way if your still reading, which I am sure I lost most of you long ago, the pool was 62 degrees!!!