Winterblast 2012...

Or known by its other name as Tooth Prom. A fancy formal party the school hosts for dental related students. In years past the price has been extremely high per couple to go, plus Nate and I aren't really "that" social, so it's never been a priority to go. Luckily this year the price was dropped to an extremely reasonable rate. I stressed for weeks on what to wear, how can a girl look good pregnant? I finally gave up my black trash bag and decided on a black form fitting dress and heals. Nothing fancy, however next year I am wearing slacks. I was under the impression it was super formal, which to some degree it was but if some of those girls can wear a long tube top as a dress, I can wear slacks and a nice shirt and still look better.

There were a ton of people there (4 classes worth, plus specialty and teachers) and we barely saw half of our friends, didn't get any pictures of us, or even take the camera, so curtesy facebook uploads, I managed to scalp these two, three actually but I am fat face and refuse to share or even tag my name in it.

Jessica and her man David, Clarissa and her Husband Graham and of course Nate and I, plus baby.

Jessica and Clarissa are in Nate's class and Graham and Nate often are found road biking together

We had a great time, not to mention the food was amazing. We plan on leaving our kids again next year for the event and then we will see after that, since everyone we know will... be... gone... So Sad! Life goes on and people move on, except for us!. Just kidding Lex, you've been good to me so far!

Weird Weather You Say...

February was a weird month, warm weather mixed with few rainy days. I think it was a teaser for spring. Now the weather is being crazy!

We were very lucky to have missed the last set or tornado storms. In fact they went right around us. Nate almost died because he didn't get to see a tornado but I feel fortunate to have not had one close by. They did a lot of damage to KY and neighboring states. When watching the news you realize just how blessed we really were and how unfortunate others were. The sad thing is that tornado season isn't until April, so lets just hope, that was it and nothing else happens.

So within 5 days, we had a 60 degree day, a rainy day, a tornado day, a cold sunny day and now 6 inches of snow. Since schools were cancelled because of the snow, we took advantage and played in it. Paisley gladly played while Sage threw his tantrum because he didn't want to wear his boots. After giving in, I put him in his loafers, the only shoes he wears and he dilly dallied in the snow before again throwing another tantrum because he was cold. Paisley was a trooper and trotted around the yard making tracks here and there and falling in puddles under the snow. Atlas even had a little fun as I kicked snow at him. Our time outside was brief, as it really was quite cold, we undressed and made a nice warm batch of none other than popcorn.

This is what is supposed to happen next. Apparently we are going back up into the 60's... Weird weather I tell you!

Popcorn Popping...

I like to take advantage of the weather when I can. I like to send my kids outside to burn all their energy, make their messes and enjoy the sun. This day was an exceptionally good day. The sun was out, it was warm enough that we didn't need jackets and my kids played hard. As I was doing some spray painting crafts, I was demanded to make popcorn, in which I did. Such an easy snack that they absolutely love. They sat there quietly gobbling up as much as they could fit in, being good little kids. That was until I found Paisley standing on top of one of my painted projects... again, fool me twice, shame on me!

I guess days like this will just have to wait, considering we just went from 60's, to snow. Yes winter has finally decided to show here and in all honesty I was hoping it wouldn't. Sunny days we are waiting, until then we'll just eat our popcorn inside.

I Miss You...

I dont exercise when I am pregnant... Uh for multiple reasons of course. For the first three/four months I am too busy laying on the floor, too sick to get up to clean, eat, and shower, let alone exercise. And by exercise I mean run, I don't feel a good workout unless I run and run hard. Once I start feeling better I start catching back up on four months of missed life, which would include the huge pile of laundry, gaining an appetite and spending time with my family since I've practically been a zombie. I also don't exercise because I am terrified something bad might happen. Given any of my 5 pregnancies I am a bit of a worry wort, to say the least. I don't dare do anything that could compromise my pregnancy weather the doctor says I am okay doing it or not. I would rather try to prevent something bad and know I had nothing to do with it, just my personal opinion. So you can say that I pretty much don't do anything but normal daily life with my kids.

Except for this time, I miss it, I miss running. I miss the feeling I get after I run. I of course don't miss the hatred feeling I have during my runs, the thoughts of "I am never doing this again" or "I am going to die", but in all honesty I miss running a good 4 miler (yeah its not a lot to some of you), I miss signing up for races, running 13 miles. Yes I said it, I have told people time and time again that I wont run another half marathon and I am here to say, its bound to happen, why? Because I miss it! There is something about the runners high and the feeling of accomplishment that I just can't live without.

I know I have many more months before this baby is born, before I get back into my groove and before I run another 13 miles, but I am more than excited for that time to come. Honestly it's about the only thing other than this baby and Perio - near future wise, that I am looking forward to. Since we are planning on this being our last child and my body will be out of production of little humans. I plan on pushing myself as hard as possible, getting my body back into shape and feeling great! I plan on many, many races, another half and eventually pushing myself so hard I do a full, crazy I know. That's just how bad I miss it right now.

So to my good friend running, I will see you soon!

A Snippet of Paisley...

She's a little spark in our lives. Always on the go and as cute as can be.

Yes, she stepped on my painting project and yes I was outside painting in February.

Always a wonderful place to sleep, hard as a rock.

She found a much better place to rest.

Crazy little girl with lots of personality, love her lots and are expecting another wild little girl who can look up to her big sis.

0-20 Weeks...

I did this with Paisley and thought I should probably log the same so I can remember these things. However seeing as this is our last it's not really for future reference...

Anyhow

I had my huge quarter life crisis (formerly known as my midlife crisis, why the change? Well because I am sure that this wasn't the only one I will have) this summer. This brought a ton of questions to my mind, one of which was the number of kids I really wanted. I had thought for a long time that 4 was a good number, of course I concocted this number before I started having kids. After I had Sage 4 sounded okay, after Paisley came along I started questioning the number. I imagine the age difference between Sage and Paisley has something to do with this, however I think that their age difference is a blessing for our family.

So anyway, I figured we would just space the next set out a few years, 3 or 4 and we would be good. Then came the summer from hell. Everything about everything for me changed. One night while still in Utah with Nate and said to him, "Let's just have one more kids and be done". He instantly agreed, this is rare when it comes to having kids, naming kids, so on and so, things of the sort usually take some talking out for us to agree. I had a really hard time at first, knowing that one more pregnancy would end my childbearing days. It sort of made me sad that I wasn't going to create another kid (I'm sure this feeling will hit me later on). I adjusted to the idea slowly, my confirmation would come later.

Nate and I decided now was as good as any to have our last kid. Paisley would be over 2 years of age by the time this one arrived and a larger gap between the two just wasn't appealing to me. I know I've got two wild and crazy kids that are really all over the place and I am no where near the perfect parent. I am continuously working on trying to figure my kids out and being the better parent and throwing one more into the mix is sure to mess things up. But to be honest this is really what Nate and I want and figured it would work best for us this way.

0-4 weeks - It didn't take long for me to know I was pregnant, Nate's parents were visiting and I started to suspect, a few days after Nate's brother and his family visited and the spotting started. The exact same and the last two and I knew before I even tested. I told Nate when we were out to dinner, took a test after family left and headed to the doctors for the usual why is this happening appointment.

4-5 weeks - my appointment was disappointing to say the least, my blood work was bad. You always know something is wrong when the doctor himself calls. The following week I went in for an ultrasound for more disappointing news. There was absolutely nothing in the sac. I've had so many ultrasound that I know what its supposed to look like, this was black and empty. I held my breath while he nicely said he wanted some more blood work. He never once mentioned a blighted ovum.

5-6 weeks - I sat for nearly a week saddened that this was actually happening to me, after everything we had been through, all the pregnancies, Dr's appointments, ultrasounds, prayers, fears, everything. I felt broken yet I felt comforted. My doctor called a few days into the next week to tell me that my blood work had nearly tripled. This could be a promising sign, he scheduled me for another ultrasound. I threw up multiple times after he called.

6-9 weeks - My appointment followed the week after, an ultrasound that I prayed so hard about before and still felt so peaceful. I held my breath once again and pleaded in my head that something be there. Low and behold a little bouncing baby 6w5d along with a beating heart. My doctor who is the best doctor in the whole world and has been since the very first time I met him gave me a huge smile followed by an "all be damned". Relief to say the least.

The following weeks were filled with worry as the spotting continued. Just like the last two but still a constant concern. These weeks also filled the toilet with the contents of my stomach. I honestly have never felt so crapy, Nate said I was the same way with Paisley. I completely disagree. Having two kids home and laying motionless on the couch all day everyday was complete missery. So bad that I told myself numerous times that I didn't want to do this but yet I would if I could just have a healthy baby.

9-12 weeks - Another ultrasound at 9w4d to confirm the heartbeat, still strong and right on track. Throwing up still my best friend. I probably spent more time with the toilet than my own kids. Not to mention I was constantly getting some type of viral bacteria or something that would completely knock me out. Nate would become a full time parent and a full time student. He cooked, cleaned and cared for the family while I laying dying.

12-14 weeks - One more appointment right before we left for Utah, a heart beat heard on the doppler and complete happiness as I got home that night and felt little flutters in my belly. Something that I was able to recognize this early with Paisley as well. We headed to Utah where I tried my hardest to be "normal" when really all I wanted to do was sleep. I wore baggy clothes as I was already feeling fat and eating as much as possible to avoid the toilet. We had planned on telling while we were home, however with another announcement from a family member we held off as to not steal the spot light.

15-17 weeks - We were lucky to find out we were having a girl, yeah for me, yeah for Paisley. Not that I was hoping for a girl but I knew another boy, if like Sage, would be the death of me. An appointment with a strong 150 heart beat on the doppler was a good reassurance that things are going great and well as movement every now and then. My nausea started to dispense at this point and I started to feel like the Mallory I was back before October. This is where my confirmation of only have 3 kids came. Now that I was somewhat sane I thought back over the last 17 weeks to realize that pregnancy is terrible by itself. Now add the stress of hoping this pregnancy is going to work, praying that this one wont just suddenly end like the first and that it wont have any severe problems like the second. Having a forth kid, as much as I would like to add another little spirit into this world, just wasn't worth it for me and for our family, as I had pretty much disappeared the last three months.

18-20 weeks - We finally decided to tell family and I send out my little announcement only to immediate family. I figured they would spread the word to the rest. Upon hearing a few responses I felt like I needed to explain why we chose to have another kid. When in reality I shouldn't have to explain to anyone why we do the things we do. By the way the explanation of why has been pretty much this whole post thus far. I start feeling like this girl is really a boy and I am in for the shock of my life for my next ultrasound, however I was wrong and this little girl really is a little girl. She's a stubborn little one and wont cooperate for the ultrasound so I get to go back and see her in a month. Movement is strong enough now that I should be able to feel it with my hand, however ever time I try, she stops. We have a few names in mind, one is stronger than the rest but not set in stone yet. I feel pretty good and am starting to get the house in order, switching kids room, going through baby stuff and sorting out all our boy clothes since we wont be needing them. Things are coming together nicely and I am pretty content for the most part.

And thats everything up until now. 20 (19 really) more weeks to go and we will have a new baby and begin a new chapter in our lives.

One, Two and...

Three...

Sage's First Day of School...

Back in the beginning of December Sage started pre-school. We were lucky enough to have him accepted into the program, you have to qualify at 3 years of age and then at 4 you can attend normaly. Sage is the youngest in his class and probably the most difficult. Well that's my assumption anyway.

His first day was a success, little stinker wouldn't look up for his picture and the one I got earlier that morning was a bust because he was crying. Mean mom made him go to school.

Since then, things have been going well. He goes to the early morning session, which starts at 7am (ridiculously early) and is out by 10. For the first few weeks I picked him up and after a few times of him saying he wanted to take the bus, we got it set up for him. It's actually nice because it gives me an extra 40 mins of just Paisley and I time and the drop off is just down the street. The bus has not been so pleasant for him, first he cried because he has to wear a special harness and then he cried because he didn't want to sit down on the bus. Good thing there is a bus aid to control my child. However he is starting to adjust and I am sure in no time he will be just fine.

Sage is talking and trying to communicate a lot more with us, which is nice to know what he actually wants. He is learning new things and exploring all sorts of fun stuff. I love that I get pictures he has colored or painted and that he gets to interact daily with other kids around his age. It's a blessing to both him and I that he gets to go to school.

The Scariest Moment of My Life...

How do I even begin to explain the pure terror that happened within a matter of seconds? I don't know if it's possible for me to describe how this moment could have changed my life forever.

I guess from the beginning is a good start...

Nate and I had come home (to his parents, this happened while on Christmas vacay) from a morning out with the kids. 12:30 isn't an unusual time to put the kids down, in fact it's a bit later than normal, I figured they would be tired. We tuck them in and lock them in the room together, again normal for them. Nate and I headed upstairs to watch TV, even though there is a TV downstairs too. Nate got out the foot massager for me and I had my turn for about 30 mins. I switched couches and he got his turn. I started dosing off but was getting irritated that the foot massager was vibrating my head from the other couch.

I decided I would get up and head downstairs to take a nap in bed. At this point we must have been upstairs for over an hour. Once I got downstairs I snuggled into bed and patiently waited to fall asleep. I could hear Paisley stirring and figured since she wasn't crying I wouldn't get up yet, maybe I had a chance that she would fall back asleep. Within 5 minutes of laying down I hear a thump in the other room, followed by a squeal. I laid in bed still, waiting to see if this was something that would be resolved on her own or if there would be that long breathe followed by a blood curdling scream.

Nothing... except for some light thumping.

I decided I better go check, unlock the door and open it to find Sage hanging from the cord on the blinds...

I felt like I stood there staring for minutes when in reality it wasn't more than a split second. He was facing me, his eyes were closed, his feet were kicking the wall and he was grabbing at his neck to loosen the cord.

I ran over immediately and picked him up to take the slack off of the cord. It was so tight that I couldn't pop to bead at the end of the cord back through, I had to pry my fingers between his neck and the cord and start wedging some room with my hand so it wasn't so tight.

I screamed for Nate, I think there is just that scream, that tone in your voice where someone knows something is wrong. By the time Nate got down to the room, I had popped the bead through and laid Sage on the bed. I was uncontrollably shaking and Sage wasn't doing anything but laying there with his eyes open. When Nate ran through the door Sage started crying.

His neck started to swell and red rope burn marks and a deep indentation appeared instantly. Nate wrapped him up in a blanket and sat him on the couch. I shook for at least an hour, trying to hold back tears of... well "oh my hell". Sage definitely wasn't his normal self for the rest of the day. He clung to me and was somber, it was weird.

The picture absolutely doesn't do justice for what it really looked like. We are talking burn marks, purple bruising and deep red lines.

It's not abnormal for the kids to play for a bit before they fall asleep. I thought I had baby proofed that room, but forgot one minor thing. The cord, the thick heavy duty, three strand cord than hung there. In that hour or more of time they played Sage pulled the blinds all the way up, this gave him 4 or so extra feet of cord to play with. The window ledge is about bed hight, covered in slick tile and wide enough that he could stand on it. Instead of wrapping the cord multiple times around his neck like he could have he wrapped it once and pushed the gigantic bead through.

I guess around the time I got in bed, he started playing with it, as I was starting to dose off, he slipped from the ledge causing his feet to hit the wall, the squeal was the air being pushed from his throat or him gasping for air and the little thumps, his feet flailing about in panic. How he didn't snap his neck from the length of the fall or hurt his wind pipe from the force of his weight, baffles me. Sage was literally hanging, no support, all of this weight on that cord, wrapped around his neck.

I can't even imagine what would have been if I fallen asleep upstairs, fallen asleep in bed or been just a few minutes later. An outcome that would change and devastated our lives. I was in the right place at the right time, thank goodness. After, I looked at everything to baby proof, checked on them every so often (like 5 minutes) and opted not to have them babysat the rest of the time we were in town. It changed me as a parent without even loosing a child. Just the thought that I could have, rattled my core. It was by far the scariest moment of my life.

Christmas Rundown...

Our Christmas came fast and went fast. We were so busy up until the moment we left, were busy the two weeks we were gone and now are finally able to slow some since we've been home, it's kind of nice.

You'll have to excuse the lack of pictures, I took pretty much no pictures of anything and the ones I did get are terrible.

Our flight left early in the morning so we decided it would be best to sleep at a hotel and park our car there the entire time we were gone. Turned out to be a pretty sweet deal. The hotel and parking charge were significantly cheaper than what we expected, the hotel was ridiculously nice and our car was there when we came home, meaning we didn't have to ask a friend for a ride to and from the airport.

There was a big bowling alley across the street from the hotel so we played a few games with the kids.

When we got back to the hotel some company was having a party and had a santa. They were a little hesitant to see him so Nate jumped in for the picture too.

The next morning we got up early and took our 3 min shuttle to the airport. Checked in and got on our first flight. We always have these forever long layovers in Chicago, luckily we have this little nook type terminal that few people walk down. We unload and run up and dow the halls for hours.

Or we waste time watching movies.

Once in Utah the festivities began, dinners, plays, concerts, the Temple (for my mom), family outings, shopping galore, Christmas presents and lots gingerbread houses.

He loved to eat off his, Paisleys candy didn't even make it on the house.

One of our Target shopping trips.

We were able to spend time with family and were lucky enough to be over at Dave and Abby's when Santa showed up early. This time Sage had no problem getting his candy cane from Santa and his family.

For Christmas I gave Nate seats, including mine... to Trans Siberian Orchestra. He has always wanted to go but they always come to KY when we head to UT. This time they switched and we were in the same state and the same time, Yeah! Nate and I were both really worried for the first half, it was like story time gone bad. The second half they finally broke out the lasers, pyrotechnics and hard rock orchestra.

The very last part of our vacation was taking Sage skiing. He was a bit of a freak out right before, we like to call that freak out a "Dane". He and my 13 year old brother act the same. But Sage did well, only did a few runs but he enjoyed going fast with dad.

And there ya have it, our vacation. Not two weeks worth of pictures and none of Christmas which I am kind of sad about. But we enjoyed our time in UT with family. However we are glad to be home and finish this chapter of our lives and start the next (which is really only a chage for Nate...)

Family Pictures...

Family pictures and our Christmas card...

While Brad and Aisha were out visiting, we did a little photo shoot of them and in return they did one of us... Still part of the "Johnson photography" of course, taken by Brad, Nate and myself.

Officially...

I have been MIA from the blog for a bit and probably will be for the next while. Other than having the worst cold of my life, the season is busy, with birthdays, holidays, school and family, it's a constant whirlwind I call life.

But for now I thought I should fill you all in on some really important and big news for the Johnson family!

We are starting our fourth year of dental school, we are on the home stretch and will be moving back to Utah in less than 9 months! Four years ago I would have told you this day was so far away that I couldn't even imagine it. Now that we are close, I can say its gone by quick! I should keep this in mind for future things...

Nate's been plugging away in his school studies, being a diligent little dental student and creating happy patients. He's enjoyed "most" of his schooling, aside from actual sit down and listen - class time and as most of his class mates can say, Nate is usually asleep at that point. He has spent the majority of his waking hours at school and then spends any free time wondering up to the perio clinic.

You see, Nate was the first out of his family (other than dear old dad) who wanted to be a dentist. He will be sure to tell you this. Why? because both of his older brothers are now practicing dentists, but Nate, apparently had been dreaming of dirty teeth and nasty breath for years and is adamant he was the first! He's always enjoyed dentistry, I suppose everything about it but his love for it changed... slightly.

Nate had developed a love for perio. Honestly I am going to have to have him write down on here, why... he loves perio so much. You know once I wanted to be a hygienist and then realized that I couldn't stand nasty gum disease and halitosis. All dentists will deal with this, some more than others but no one more than a periodontist (and probably his hygienist). I'll have to explain what exactly periodontists do, its really more than just a gum gardener, as they call them. Implants, surgery, extractions, treatment of gums, roots and bone... and so much more. But often periodontist are the butt of all jokes. Although they go to schooling for longer then a general dentist, they are often the low man on the totem pole.

Alright, anyhow. Nate had been thinking about perio. We had talked some about the possibility of applying before summer and it never really stuck, summer passed and so did the deadline for application, a friend of ours, who is in the program, again prompted Nate to still apply even though it was Late (he had been suggestion an application weekly). After a quick, "just do it" from me. He applied.

A few days later he had an interview that he nearly missed. The secretary and Nate got their days mixed up. Nate had just happened to walk into the perio dept, where the secretary informed him his interview was that morning. Frantically Nate, borrowed our perio friends car, headed home for his suit and walked into an interview unprepared in his head.

We worried about the interview, the fact that we had thrown all our eggs in one basket (we only applied to UK) and that, if accepted we would be throwing away a dental practice that others would give an arm and leg for.

We worried for a while, until this little letter came in the mail. I tried my hardest not to open it or even let Nate know that it had come. No need to let him stress about it at school.

There ya have it, it's official, Nate has been accepted into the University of Kentucky Perio program and we will be staying here for an additional 3 years, making it 7 years total!

We are excited to break the mold so to speak and make our own adventures. Nate is excited to venture in this field and feels good about his decisions. Our future is somewhat uncertain and that is kind of scary but we both know it will work out how it's supposed to.

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P.S.... I have to be honest, this whole photo shoot thing was a set up. As I mentioned Nate decided to apply late and got an interview shortly after, however shortly after that, we got word he was accepted but kept it on the down low until we received this bad boy. I just needed to document it and made him go along with it. He did well. Officially it's official now! We have known for months, but just had to wait a bit to tell. Yeah for us!